Monday, February 6, 2012

The cursing angels of good and evil

Can I go another few days without cleaning the bathroom?

Fucking no. Throw some fucking scratch-free Comet in the sink and rub it all around with a fucking cellular sponge. It's not that fucking hard.

Hold on. The dichloro dihydrate in the cleanser could fucking kill you. It probably is killing you slowly. Leave the fucking sink alone.

Can I leave the bed unmade today?

Make the fucking bed, already. It’s not that hard. What are you? Fucking Four?

It’s just another fucking day in a string of days that make up your inexorable life. The bed made or unmade makes no fucking difference.

Should I stop and help that old lady cross the street?

Fucking yes! If she got hit by a car, you’d feel guilty for the rest of your fucking life.

Let the old lady live out her fucking Karma. You think you’re god and can redirect fucking fate?

The store clerk gave me too much change.

March back and give the fucking money back.

What are you fucking kidding me? How many fucking soggy apples have you bought in that store? Did they ever show up at your house and say Mea Fucking Culpa, here are some good apples?

(If you don’t think this is funny and this post offends you, I fucking apologize)


  1. Good lord. I hope so. This gave me pause. Thanks, Mark for weighing in.

  2. I'm laughing out loud because this sounds like my head most days, and I don't even swear. But something in my head does. You've lessened my guilt, It's those cursing angels. Phew! I knew it couldn't be me.

  3. Thank goodness you are laughing, Diane. I worried about this post being offensive.

  4. I am laughing so hard! I'm glad to know other people's inner voices are as foul-mouthed as mine.