Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Two things that happen just before you step in dog doo.

Facebook ads are always flagging me down with: 'These four things happen right before a heart attack.' They are things you would not suspect like your eyebrows fall out. (That’s not really one of the things just in case you are having a heart attack.) It made me wonder about what other dire events in life give us warnings we might dismiss.

This one thing happens right before you step in dog doo.
You go for a walk while playing Words with Friends.

These things happen just before you become morbidly obese
You sit on the couch and play Words With Friends. A year passes.

These things happen right before you get fired.
You sit in your office and play Words With Friends. A year passes.

This one thing happens right before your septic tank goes bonkers.
That scene in The Conversation where stuff comes up in the motel room toilet that Gene Hackman was not expecting keeps interfering with Words with Friends.

This one thing happens just before you lock yourself out of your car.
You met Sharkey at the corner bar and he ordered you a Lazy Manhattan while you were playing Words with Friends.

Just to round out this mindless post, I have to mention the Mad Men marathon that takes place every Sunday morning .

If you are up at six a.m. because of a baby or a bad love affair or indigestion or the ole soul hole nagging about this and that, tune in to AMC where they have continuous re-runs of Mad Men until eight. Thank you AMC.

It’s not often I’m riveted. Riveted means: Hold (someone or something) fast so as to make them incapable of movement. Yeah, that’s it. So what is it about Don Draper? He’s not afraid of anyone. He says what he means He’s a bad boy that seems to have a noirness about him. Something bad happened to Don that left a hole in his heart or his head.

The dialogue is so...so ‘ole boy.’ At the end of a board meeting where the agency has just been bought, one of the men says: Now that we’ve stopped haggling over the dowry, it’s time to enter the tent and spend the night with the bride. This show makes me say okay to smoking, adultery, making fun of crippled veterans. I’m in a cult and nothing can convince me to leave. Here are a couple of comments made by viewers on the AMC website:

Joan is sexy and manipulative. I hate her and want to be her at the same time. I also like Joy, because she just wanted Don for sex.

When Betty had a one night stand at the bar while Don was watching the kids, I had a huge smile on my face.


  1. Things that happen right before a meteorite slams into your building: you're playing Tiny Tower in the bathtub. (That way the meteorite gets two buildings at once. Smart meteorite.) The bathtub part is just coincidence.

  2. Things that happen right before you commit attempted murder: you come back from picking up your child from basketball practice to find dinner burning and your spouse 5 feet away from the stove playing Words with Friends.

  3. Darn! Carlarey that is such a good one I want to start all over.
    Sorry about dinner.