Thursday, May 3, 2012

Jesus is ganging up on me


I am not against Jesus.  I like most of the things he said. Some of the things he said are fantastic.  According to Jesus, even if I don’t do a darn thing, especially if I don’t do a darn thing, I’m going to have a bucketful of fine clothes or the metaphoric equivalent of free wordly goods. (ref. Consider the lillies of the field.  They toil not neither do they spin but even Solomon in all his glory is not arrayed as one of these.)

Is it  blasphemous to write about Jesus in this attitudinal way? I don't think so.  I think Jesus likes a current vernacular interpretation.  I think Jesus would even like a Hollywood Roast where people would make tasteless jokes about him.   Like the song says, Jesus was way cool.  I think Jesus would laugh louder than anyone and when he took the podium, he’d give as good as he got. 

What I think Jesus doesn’t like are the samplers that have invaded my Facebook page to the point where I am reminded every half inch what a slug I am about religion or being good even though I am a slug about religion and being good.

My Facebook page has been hijacked by too many inspirational messages.  They've lost their punch.    The constant nudging is wearing me down.  Where are my peeps?  Where are my Christopher Hitchens ironic groupies?  Where is my rightful place on this earth?
Here is a sample of what greets me when I visit my Facebook page hoping to get a glimpse of my children or grandchildren and their activities or maybe some old friends that I only get to like-hug on the page.

My friend Sandra and I play this game called “Why didn’t they ask us?” When some product, or game show, or movie or social pastime or Katie Couric’s impending talk show goes down in flames, we call each other up and say, “Why didn’t they ask us?” Right now, I’m predicting that despite all the hype about Facebook’s IPO being the event of the decade, Facebook is going down. Who even understands all that Timeline crapola.  Who chose my profile gallery of pictures? Who cares about that anyway?  Btw why did Bravo give Kathy Griffin a talk show?  She was doing just fine with stand up. Going down. Why did Oprah give up being the most powerful person on earth to spearhead a network? Going down.


This last pix compels me to say:  "Oh, now you tell me."

This has nothing to do with anything.  I just liked these super alert family of Meerkats.

In case I'm all wrong about everything in this post, pray for me.

6 comments:

  1. Wow, yet another blogger thinking in tandem with me. I have no problem with devout religiosity and actually, little issue with it on Facebook either. But when I get the equivalent of "shaming", e.g. "why did you like / share my FB post about the importance of Jesus in my life" - well, that annoys me just a little. My religion (yes, I am a Christian) is very personal to me. I wish religion would be just as personal to others.

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    1. Whew. Thanks, Lisa. My religion (I, too, am a Christian) is very personal to me, too. Didn't mean to sound like a scold but lately every other message is about getting me to reform my ways.

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  2. A friend of mine sends this message to people who get all Jesus-y with her...
    Religion is like a penis. I am glad you think yours is special and you enjoy it so much, but it's embarrassing when you play with it in public. Please don't wave it in my face, and don't try to stick it in my children.

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    1. I'm glad to see you weigh in. In life as in religion, I demand good writing.

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  3. I totally agree. I like warm-and-fuzzy in small doses.

    And this post made me think of this Facebook screenshot. Ha!

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    1. Neva, that was hilarious. This day is all the better for that big laugh.

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