Miss Loser Bimbo

When Yahoo news excels in quirky - I pay attention.

1. The salutation (yes, that’s the right word) ‘Miss’ is now officially banned in France. The term will be struck from official documents, along with “maiden name” or “married name”. Instead the authorities are to use the term “Madame” equivalent to the male “Monsieur” Women are no longer forced to state their marital status.

My take: I know some married mothers who would be happy to let you call them “Miss loser bimbo.” if you would babysit for an hour or two and empty the dishwasher.

2. An Ohio woman who compared animal-welfare work to the liberation of World War II concentration camps has been charged with soliciting a hit man to fatally shoot or slit the throat of a random fur-wearer, federal authorities said. She was offering $830 to $850 and she wanted to be present so she could distribute material after the murder. She also asked that the victim be more than 12 or 14 years old.

My take: I have a friend who lets her cat sit on her warm toast.

3. Seven million-year-old elephant footprints were found in the Arabian Desert. Analysis suggests they belonged to a herd of at least 13 elephants that walked through mud, leaving behind tracks that hardened, Researchers also discovered tracks from a solitary male traveling in a different direction from the herd suggesting ancient male pachyderms often left the herd to live alone.

My take: The males leave the herd to live alone? How unusual. Is that the genesis of the Man Cave?
My less sarcastic take: Maybe it was only wrong-way Roy.

4. A 27 lb. surprise that shrimp fishermen found in their nets leaves marine experts stunned.

My take: It wasn’t Jimmy Hoffa. The surprise was a lobster with claws the size of boxing gloves. Marine experts were stunned? Really, Yahoo headline writer? Stunned as in ‘unable to move?’ Now if the big boy had said ‘howdy.’ Note to the Ohio PETA mamma in the other story: Put your gun away, they threw Monster Lobster back in the briny.

Apropos of nothing department: (I don’t know where I found this)
The book our customers most wish for is "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking."

My take: Hmmmm.