Friday, March 16, 2012

"I go for a man who wears an Adam hat."

The television commercial police is now on duty.

“Anyway you want it.”
“That’s the way I need it.”
a State Farm commercial.

“I need it in the middle of the night.”
“I need it in the middle of the night, too.”
Cold medicine commercial.

“Oh, do it again.”
(with heavy breathing, girl with girl) commercial

Okay so what’s up with all this hooker/client dialogue in commercials? Most people I know would never say those words and not because they are prudes. The dividing line between people who speak openly and wantonly about sex and those who don’t is very wide. For my generation and throw convent boarding school in there, we can hardly say breast without falling down never mind “I need it in the middle of the night,” on national television.

Along with the rise of innuendo commercials, there is a tandem appearance of commercials for Christian Singles dating services. Chaste minded citizens are being offered a lewdness free zone where they are assured no date is going to say to them “I need it in the middle of the night.”

Campbell’s has made a commercial for Christian Singles.
“Take your happiness to work.” The happiness offered is not the recklessly sinful “Anyway you want it,” but a microwavable individual serving of Campbell’s tomato soup. This isn’t crazy jumping for joy happiness but when it’s February and you need something warm and tasty to sip while you do your marketing plan Campbell’s soup makes you a little happy, no? And if you don’t go to work, Campbell’s says: “Make your family smile - one spoonful at a time.” So stop your whining Christian Singles there’s plenty on the airwaves for you.

The first commercial I remember that went for the double entendre (btw, the double entendre always seemed a cheap and immature attempt at humor although people still giggle) was for Noxema shaving cream. This gorgeous blonde would say: “Take it off. Take it all off” and burlesque stripper music would play while the man shaved in sync with the music. Joe Namath did one of those commercials. At the time the country was in shock (sort of). The brazen commercial was the talk of the media and everyone had an opinion.

Even before that - maybe during the Kennedy administration - when men still wore real hats there was a jingle that I still remember. “I go for a man who wears an Adam hat. I go for a man who wears an Adam hat. And when I tell him that. He wears his Adam hat.” Woo hoo. (This is not a precise rendition but you get the gist.)

Finally, there is the inexplicable Kohler break-up commercial.
A twenty-something man shows up at his buddy’s apartment with a toilet and sink.
“How mad was she?” asks the buddy.
“She threw me out but I took the best stuff.”
“I’ll get a wrench.” says the buddy.
‘Life with a twist’ is the tag line.
This is one for Dr. Phil. Break-up revenge can turn ugly: throwing belongings out of the window, taking the dog, drowning cell phones but wrenching the toilet out of the bathroom? Maybe.


  1. Have you seen the print ads for the breath fresheners that are on the paper that dissolves on your tongue? The actors are listing all the places they "take a sheet". My favorite is "I take a sheet in the pool".
    Campaigns like that make me miss the ad business.

  2. Carlarey, you had me laughing out loud. You should be writing this blog.

  3. the scary thing is how quickly children catch up all those phrases and keep repeating it (loud and in public places).