Saturday, March 17, 2012

You are like so Renaissance

Christian Singles is for those who are looking for love within the restricted dating pool of people who practice Christian values. But what about the rest of us? Are there any personality specific dating services to fill our quirks and issues? I'm happy to share the following list and also the vignettes of those satisfying first dates.

Froot Loops Singles

Did you take Froot Loops to mean a code for crazy?
No. I took it to mean Froot Loops as in the best cereal on earth.
Good. That’s what I meant, too. Let’s bowl up.

OCD Singles

I have to use the sink to wash my hands.
No. I need the sink to wash my hands.
You don’t understand, I HAVE to wash my hands.
No. You don’t understand I HAVE to wash my hands.
This is so cool.
I know.

Schizophrenic Singles

I’m deliriously happy. I can fly.
I can fly, too. Let’s go on the roof.
Wait. Now I feel like killing myself.
I feel like killing myself, too.
Really? That is so cool.

Esoteric Singles

I’m taking a course in lute tablature.
I’m taking a course in 15th century undergarments.
You are like so Renaissance.

Morbidly Obese Singles

How many pizzas should I order for us?
Why not six?
Okay, six.

Ironic Singles

I once saw a fire engine that was on fire.
My mother ate a cookie before dinner and spoiled her appetite.
My procrastinators’ meeting was postponed..
My banker defaulted on his loan.
I’m not quite sure what irony means.
Me either.

Incontinent Singles

I've got to go.
I had to go.

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