This morning I was innocently eating breakfast. There in the glossy white of my eggs over easy was a picture of a pair of Dansko Pro XP Clogs I had just look at on Amazon. It was refreshing to see those clogs at the edge of the yolk. For about a week, I had been seeing the Little Pete Multi-Catch Mouse Trap in the pancakes, the panini, even the bathroom mirror. Little Pete was all over the house.
It was like the apostles finding the imprint of Jesus' face on Veronica's Veil. Uh, well, no, it wasn't like that at all. Sorry.
While I could tolerate the shoes and Little Pete, I rebelled at taking my grandchild to the playground and seeing that bellyfat lady squeezing her stomach right on the side of the slide. And then when I tried to rub her out finding her stamped every few feet on the sidewalk all the way home.
That night, I plumped my pillow hoping for a pleasant sleep only to catch sight of the Vita-Mix 7500 framed by the hemstitching on my heirloom pillowcase. I had clearly only looked at the Vita-Mix 5200. Geez, Amazon, get it right. It’s enough to make you want to take out a restraining order.