Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What are Kate and Will doing all day?

(The title for this post is a flimsy attempt to get your attention.  This blog is not about Will and Kate although that sentence is part of the post.)

I got on the treadmill this morning with my Kindle and began to read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, a digital copy of the novel I had borrowed from Live-brary, I put the treadmill on 1.5 miles an hour and 13 incline so I could read comfortably.

The writing was very good.  I was reading along and then something weird happened. My mind went berserk.  It was as if I had mainlined wild salmon, blueberries, sweet potatoes and kale into my brain.  When I saw all the great and inventive thoughts that Gillian Flynn had to think in order to write Gone Girl, the gatekeeper in my brain compared it to the colossal trash hole of my default thought content.  I was using up Thought Storage with content that was so IRREVELANT, it could make you weep.  What was worse, I had no idea I was having these thoughts because they were now part of me - like my nose or ears.  I was guilty of THOUGHT WASTE!

These are some of the waste thoughts I allow to rent out my mind week after week.
1. The “proving I’m right Memorial Wing”
            This is a revolving stage of recent or past encounters-gone-wrong wherein I state my case over and over and over and over (some of the participants could be dead.)
2.  The “today I will start an entirely new life plan Memorial Garden”
            Eat only organic vegetables, bits of free-range chicken, filtered water and five almonds and totally reconstruct my body.
            Dust the house every day so the dust doesn’t pile up and become a multi-car wreck of dustballs so big they could make you trip.           
            Produce a robust vegetable garden and pick my dinner ingredients every evening and bring them to the kitchen in a big wicker basket.
            Have all the cosmetic filler/tightening work done necessary to make me look like I did when I was 29.
            Get rid of everything I own except my big linen hemstitched tablecloths that I will use as curtains in my new simplified life.
3.  The random shiny trivia Memorial Library
            What are Kate and Will doing all day?
            How could Billy Joel’s brother-in-law mismanage (steal) all his money?
            Why am I mentally enslaved by that stupid N.J.  “We’re stronger than the storm” song           
            How could Willie Nelson lose all his money and now has to go back on the road to pay the IRS.
            Is Hilary healthy enough to last until 2016.
            Is Michelle too bossy.
Gillian Flynn’s excellent prose scraped the scales off my eyes and I realized that THINKING is a fabulous RESOURCE.  Imagine!  Think of your thoughts as short term renters. They have to vacate and return the key before 11 a.m.


  1. Wow, I have entire crowds due for eviction! No wonder I get headaches.

    1. I worried this blog would expose me for the shallow person I can be.