Daniel Tiger an unexceptional wimpy cub has been sucked out
of the cast of the beloved Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and repurposed as a stand
alone TV guru who helps toddlers navigate life's vicissitudes.
Daniel, like Tony Robbins or Deepak Chopra is all about
putting out a bible for living that will get the little ones emotionally fit.
I would not have singled out Daniel out of Mr. Roger's
troupe. I might have chosen
passive-aggressive Henrietta Pussycat who felt jealous and threatened by others
but liked to take care of people. Or the cynical Lady Elaine Fairchild, who, in
pre-TV life operated the Rapid Walking Beauty Counseling School.
Here is some of Daniel's misguided advice (annoyingly
sing-songed so it stays in your head forever):
1. Grownups come back.
Grownups sometimes never come back. Grownups can get fed up and move to
Costa Rica and take your stuff.
You know what else doesn't come back? Your favorite Lululemon hoodie that cost $109 and they don't
make anymore.
Remember that carpenter grownup who was going to fix your
porch rail? Did he come back? Did
your materials deposit come back?
2. Rest is best.
Rest (unless you are in a medically induced coma) is never
best. Too much rest is what gifted you with fifteen extra
pounds. Sitting, as you've been told, is the new smoking. Even by-pass surgery patients are up and walking as soon as
they can tell you the name of the current president and their home address.
A new baby as any moron knows is most often a chaos machine
and mom's hormones are so unreliable she reacts like a detonated watermelon just
because the toast got a little too brown.
4. On loaning toys: You can take a turn
and then I'll get it back
Even if you sing this totally
misleading rule, it does not guarantee that Prince Wednesday will give you your
tigertastic car back or if he does it will be in good condition. That's why people leave a damage
deposit.
This is misleading on so many
levels. If you try that on the
George Washington Bridge, they will possibly haul you off to jail. Kisses will not stand-in for money when you apply for a mortgage.
Daniel Tiger could take a page from a French Tiger Mother's playbook: chin up, no sniveling and give me a perfect three times table.
N.B. There is a reason why the
book "Go the F**k to Sleep" is still a best seller three years after
publication. The New Yorker (yes, The New Yorker) said:
"Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation...quite like
this."
Top 10 post (just don't tell the kids I said that)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I won't tell the kids.
Delete