I never felt confident at parenting and with good
reason. When the kids were little
I was overwhelmed. There was no close family around and living in a kid-poor
area, I was isolated. We won’t
mention the fact that four pregnancies in five years left me batsh*t
crazy. Unfortunately for the kids,
it was also the time when I was “discovered” as a writer and was often invited
to "humiliate" them in the national and local press.
It was a lonely life, not another kid in sight. I had to drive to the park,
supermarket, playgroups. I had to
even drive to the school bus because we lived on a long non-public road. Did I mention I
was a poor driver and only learned in my thirties? I once made an illegal left hand turn right in front of a
cop and when he pulled me over I had no clue what was wrong. He told me to keep off the main roads
for a few months.
On the plus side, we were a three minute walk to Long Island
sound where the kids learned to swim and sail a small boat that is still in use
today.
I mention all of this because today I am getting ready to
welcome two of my children and their children and I’ve been up since ten
(kidding) cooking and getting the toys out. I may not have aced it as a mother but (surprise) I am a good
grandmother. We’re all surprised by this turn of events. The grandkids like me and I like
them. I like playing with them and
talking to them. I think
they are gorgeous and wise and funny and confident. They have taught this intimacy freak to throw in the towel.
Here’s what I made for them to eat over the week-end. I dragged out my old (70’s) Redbook
manicotti recipe where you make crepe-like wraps, (made them this a.m.) fill
them with a three-cheese (optional chopped zucchini) mix, wrap them like little
fat cigars and cover them with a good tomato sauce and more cheese on top. I
also made baba ghanoush, home-baked corn chips, lentil soup, pizza and
medallions of pork. There are lots of organic greens ready for dressing and good ice cream for dessert.
Everything is done so I can spend the entire week-end free
to engage and play. Redemption thy
name is grandma.
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