It was a miracle today and I saw again how things can turn around so quickly. Yesterday, I was sure my mind was not going to behave or settle down or even clear up or want to do anything more than just be muddled.
But then, really with no warning, just this dull acceptance that this was going to be the new status quo, I started looking for information to send out a query. I found what I needed and from there gathered all the other stuff and then I began to compose a few paragraphs and from that I tried to arrange the beginning of the piece I wanted to do.
There is a point where you see no way out and you give in to despair and only then do things turn around. I believe that giving in to despair might be necessary. It makes you believe that there is an order and if we could just find the key to it, we would be all right. I don’t know why anyone wants to be more than just all right. Being all right is the ideal state. It doesn’t need news. It doesn’t need approval. I’m all right.