tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32626674442033686002024-03-13T03:35:31.957-07:00The repurposed writerA previously successful writer silenced by the sledgehammer of traditional publishing is repurposed as a publisher/author by the miracle of epublishingConsuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.comBlogger399125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-27884308060469724342022-11-14T10:11:00.000-08:002022-11-14T10:11:06.113-08:00Die Liebe zu Schönen Dingen<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgq1dsqDKtx8gQlLxt_51cNcUIQQN0u7UQ43zgEWrIar0NfCARR8uq2jtXguZOuTuNFhEtbaLdzgL5cK95KaDQcVyZoS3b34tKAmBDMJFHvtP2vEnl2fYGZhNhtzulcptbAxlPFLFjcBRGJv7uUR5cXl9h9mixavdR4HvIS9X7K_2jFeL8iXLe95Q_A" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="444" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgq1dsqDKtx8gQlLxt_51cNcUIQQN0u7UQ43zgEWrIar0NfCARR8uq2jtXguZOuTuNFhEtbaLdzgL5cK95KaDQcVyZoS3b34tKAmBDMJFHvtP2vEnl2fYGZhNhtzulcptbAxlPFLFjcBRGJv7uUR5cXl9h9mixavdR4HvIS9X7K_2jFeL8iXLe95Q_A=w444-h444" width="444" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>My latest historical fiction is now out in Germany! If you speak German, or know someone who does, here is the link to purchase: <a href="https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Consuelo-Saah-Baehr-ebook/dp/B0B3XKS7KT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2NZJK7VGXJIIP&keywords=consuelo+saah+baehr&qid=1668449098&sprefix=consuelo+saah%2Caps%2C128&sr=8-1">https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Consuelo-Saah-Baehr-ebook/dp/B0B3XKS7KT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2NZJK7VGXJIIP&keywords=consuelo+saah+baehr&qid=1668449098&sprefix=consuelo+saah%2Caps%2C128&sr=8-1</a><br /> <p></p>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-66060756033586765342020-11-20T11:25:00.000-08:002020-11-20T11:25:08.802-08:00RELEASING THE KRAKEN. HOLY! WHAT?<p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I’ve learned a lot of new words during the pandemic.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">In a thundering moment of poetic vigor the government has created these soulful phrases. Here is what I thought they meant and what the government tells me they mean.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Shelter in place</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Me:</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> this is a variation of Musical Chairs. If you are out and there is an earthquake or you see a tornado coming, or you come upon a turf war shoot-out, each person runs into the nearest house and hides in the coat closet.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLmojeQ3iP9yrSWq5gWK1GLqa1xjrSOeUJoNQP4ug-qTE_b2mH-R7mHVthMz8wOfdrxqEXQn19RZ9EHxAGBX829OiNRt281F01JyJefqamnIP7_fjCcSrvM2mlu_XgbQKZP5msZdTsBn8/s246/th.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="161" data-original-width="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLmojeQ3iP9yrSWq5gWK1GLqa1xjrSOeUJoNQP4ug-qTE_b2mH-R7mHVthMz8wOfdrxqEXQn19RZ9EHxAGBX829OiNRt281F01JyJefqamnIP7_fjCcSrvM2mlu_XgbQKZP5msZdTsBn8/s0/th.jpeg" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></b></b></p><b>The govt</b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">. From now until forever, you have to stay inside your own house and everyone who lives with you has to stay there, too. You have to do this every day, all day, all night, even week-ends. After a few days, you will have a disturbing understanding of what you’ve settled for in life but was too busy to acknowledge. The guy at the liquor store doesn’t have to stay home. They call him an essential worker. He delivers. </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Intubation and extubation</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Me</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: A needlessly formal way of saying you’re going to take a bath and then get out of the tub.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The govt: </span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">If you can’t breathe and you need a ventilator they hook you up and intubate you. When you get better, they extubate you. Our New York governor told the president he needed 40,000 ventilators. The president didn’t believe him but got General Motors and General Electric and all General companies to stop making cars, refrigerators and toaster ovens and make ventilators. The president said Obama had not left him any ventilators. Now we have so many ventilators stockpiled, we are ready for the next pandemic. I hope they don’t get rusty.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Food insecure</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Me</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: I thought this meant you weren’t sure if the salmon you bought yesterday smelled fishy or it was just – you know – salmon.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The govt</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: Food insecure is when you lost your job because your company had to shut down and you still had some food but worried that when the food you had ran out you didn’t have the money to buy more food. Then you found out that you could get free food but the lines were so long you worried there wouldn’t be any food left when you got to the head of the line.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Out of an abundance of caution:</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Me</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: When I heard this I thought the networks were cancelling all sit coms where the husbands were stupid and the wives were in permanent side-eye mode and the kids were insolent and obnoxious.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The networks</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: This peculiar phrase was something the networks said all day long as an explanation of why their programming was all whacky and we were getting the news from Gayle King’s den or Maurice du Bois’ basement. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Social distancing</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Me:</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> This definitely reminded me of all my worst psychological problems where I had a litany of social gatherings that made me uncomfortable to the point of scratching my skin into tatters: cocktail parties, New Year’s Eve parties, picnics, shopping with other people, barbecues, baby showers, bridal showers, going away parties, shaking hands in church. Anything and everything where you have to engage with other people.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The govt</span></b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">: To my surprise and delight, social distancing means all humans have to stay at least six feet apart. As one of my smart alecky children says, “social distancing and sheltering in place are just another Tuesday for my mother.” <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Releasing the kraken<o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">In the last two days I’ve heard a phrase that is so wild and wooly and promising of absolute chaos that I had to go back to this blog after many months of silence and make sure you have heard it, too. That lady lawyer who looks like my Aunt Georgette said she is soon going to “RELEASE THE KRAKEN”. HOLY! WHAT??? It sounds like all hell will break loose (another interesting phrase because you’d think hell couldn’t really break loose because it is mired in some gunk way down. Down.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">I began to imagine what Releasing the Kraken might mean. It sounds like a good snack like pretzel bagels. By the way, pretzel bagels aren’t that great.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Releasing the Kraken might mean letting some wild bird out of a cage. Or maybe it’s releasing all those industrious people that “got cracking,” Telling them to stop being so darn industrious and go home. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="va-top" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 16.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: top;"><span style="color: #525252; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16pt;">According to the Urban Dictionary where the young uns go to find out stuff, Release the Kraken means: we are at the end of our rope and now we are going to kick your ass from here to New Jersey.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="va-top" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 16.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; vertical-align: top;"><span style="color: #525252; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p><p class="va-top" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 16.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; vertical-align: top;"><span style="color: #525252; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16pt;">So there you have it. Poetic language to describe a power grab by politicians we wouldn’t even invite to dinner. We learned far. too much about Nancy Pelosi’s freezer and her hair beautification. Andrew Cuomo had a soothing winning style early on but is getting cranky. Mark Zuckerberg drinks water like a little bird. What’s to become of us? I don’t know. For me, it’s just another Tuesday.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="va-top" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 16.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; vertical-align: top;"><span style="color: #525252; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="va-top" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 16.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; vertical-align: top;"><span style="color: #525252; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16pt;">(this is not meant to promote any political point of view. Just going for a bit of humor)</span></p>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-13350702630944817672020-03-05T05:59:00.001-08:002020-03-10T15:10:48.802-07:00The repurposed writer: Have you seen vents uno?<a href="http://www.consuelosaahbaehr.com/2020/03/have-you-seen-vents-uno.html?spref=bl">The repurposed writer: Have you seen vents uno?</a>: I have moved myself to New York City. Life is different than it was in East Hampton. I’m adjusting. Today I rode on the senior bus to go t...Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-68149903709024280092020-03-05T05:19:00.000-08:002020-03-10T15:11:40.890-07:00Have you seen vents uno?<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I have moved myself to New York City. Life is different than it was in East Hampton. I’m adjusting. Today I rode on the senior bus to go to the supermarket. I needed food and the senior bus was on the street, idling in front of a line of people. In New York City, everything that has a “senior” designation in front of it is FREE. Senior bus, senior lunch, senior tai chi, senior mammogram, senior yoga, senior Tik Tok help. Free, free, free, free, free, free. Maybe that's why we have a 100 trillion dollar debt. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Everyone waiting in the bus line had a rolling cart. I had a small nylon backpack that you could stick in your pocket. “Oh honey”, said the lady in front of me. “You need to bring a cart.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">As in all bus etiquette (it was true of my old bus in East Hampton), any rider can weigh in on your poor choices.<i> Why aren’t you wearing a coat? You better sit down.</i> <i>Your pocketbook is open</i>. When we began to board a man counted us. I was <i>vente uno.</i> In New York City, people often speak in Spanish. <i>For English, press two. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">The senior bus goes to the supermarket on Tuesday and Wednesday. I went on Wednesday and it’s a good thing because on Wednesday it is senior day at the supermarket and you get a % off your bill. If you finish shopping and don’t want to wait for the bus, there’s a car to drive you home and guess what? It’s free. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I chose the private car option. <i>Vente uno </i>was going to be missing in the bus count. I could see my big startled senior face on the back of an oat milk carton. <i>Have you seen vente uno</i>? </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">If you want to know why I’m living in New York City and how I got here, stay tuned.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-78413551558426825892019-07-15T14:43:00.000-07:002019-07-15T14:46:42.834-07:00Be Kind To Your Openings<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">When my children were
young, I made up a song for them. <b><i>Be Kind To Your Openings.</i></b>
We all have openings. Most of those openings need to be free, unobstructed,
open to the world, ready to take in information. At the southernmost end,
some<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of those openings, at the mercy of
gravity, urges, and quixotic storage, need to be covered, protected, comforted
shielded and contained. Containment is the most important.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODL3-87NwrAzG_-16h5FAjLnULfU0MvBw111SAktLNC3Jnb0Q0SVIgXagPwIK5PSaTxBaIG9g2Y80JfNLJsfWZcTCaWnhytyZ_EH4c3IrywrSOhGg29Cvjdag9VTS-uVzkNOT-nmBPGs/s1600/goods_17_419709.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="380" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODL3-87NwrAzG_-16h5FAjLnULfU0MvBw111SAktLNC3Jnb0Q0SVIgXagPwIK5PSaTxBaIG9g2Y80JfNLJsfWZcTCaWnhytyZ_EH4c3IrywrSOhGg29Cvjdag9VTS-uVzkNOT-nmBPGs/s200/goods_17_419709.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">That established, let’s
talk about underwear. I was once a copywriter for a large department
store chain and part of my job was to sell underpants. Here is what I
would say today about men’s underpants.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-decoration: none;"><span style="mso-ignore: vglayout;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Consider the flat two
inch elasticized waistband with stable reliable stretch that never gives
up. The body well-cut from 16 ounce pima cotton jersey that yields pleasantly to the shape at hand. The generous
wide crotch contains, comforts and ensures security with a seamless
return that spills over and hugs the upper thigh, leaving nary a gap. No wonder
men go into the world with a dance in their step. They feel secure, contained,
invincible. </span></i><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">This is what I would say
about women’s underwear:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-decoration: none;"><span style="mso-ignore: vglayout;"></span></span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">See this thin string of rubberized material indenting the female waist or worse, quickly losing its elasticity.
See this high cut leg leaving a highway that exposes the vulnerable groin.
See the almost see through unyielding five ounce (possibly reclaimed) cotton
that orders the buttocks to make do with the available coverage. See the
elasticized crotch miserly in width, spitefully narrow, See these three
important most hard working openings, misunderstood, tentative, uncertain.The
southernmost platform, exposed, unsteady, not quite contained, nervously poised
on the edge of a cliff. </span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">I went to T J Max
and stood before the men’s underwear wall where a feast of life changing
containment and comfort awaited. I unseated a pair of short-leg boxer briefs
from a hook. They were dark grey 30” waist, 100 percent silky jersey
cotton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took the briefs home.
Almost fainting with trepidation over any latent gender misclassification,
I put the underwear on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OH. MY. GOD!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR BEGAN TO BELT OUT
SEVERAL HALLELUJAHS. <b> Whuk? Is this how men feel? </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Remember that lady
marathoner who had to free-bleed while she ran the marathon? Her period had arrived
at the starting line. Unwittingly, she became a champion for women’s
final frontier of defiance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stuff<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>comes out of us without our will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what happens. Get comfortable
with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moreover, we have a delivery
system that is not as precise or tractable as the other gender..<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn’t choose it. That’s the way it
was meted out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Childbirth takes it down
a couple of notches. We deserve equal pay and equal underwear. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">BE KIND TO YOUR
OPENINGS.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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</style>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-85728767987196424342019-05-18T07:12:00.001-07:002019-05-18T07:12:09.581-07:00The repurposed writer: William Barr, you had me at jejune.<a href="http://www.consuelosaahbaehr.com/2019/05/william-barr-you-had-me-at-jejune.html?spref=bl">The repurposed writer: William Barr, you had me at jejune.</a>: Here’s the quote: “It's unusual to have opposition research like that one that on its face ...Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-37631306539707077062019-05-18T07:09:00.000-07:002019-05-18T07:09:18.941-07:00William Barr, you had me at jejune.
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: .25pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here’s the quote: <i>“It's unusual to have opposition research
like that one that on its face had a number of clear mistakes and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">jejune</b> analysis and to use that to
conduct counterintelligence.”</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: .25pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The only thing I heard was “jejune.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whaaaat? A government person? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Kudos, AG
for obvious familiarity and love of language. Your delivery was insouciant. You slipped it in there without hesitation or stumble.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jejune
isn’t easy to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve only seen it
written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t French for I am
June.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means naïve, artless,
childlike, unsophisticated.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> It
can also mean boring, dreary, insipid, dull, tedious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>
</div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: .25pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mr. Attorney General, talk some more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What other words do you know?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14fWhR7z8KxrA1OPit5df1LizDySBWNVg5h6MQo68BiyZi7wnHMv0XJitnLZiAuSoxdfFiP0cjaN50PmxsdiH4iEMgH8HS2j2uvVHTtC8SGpINz75ZBJ-yCEBmTXUki04xErAJg9g0zU/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14fWhR7z8KxrA1OPit5df1LizDySBWNVg5h6MQo68BiyZi7wnHMv0XJitnLZiAuSoxdfFiP0cjaN50PmxsdiH4iEMgH8HS2j2uvVHTtC8SGpINz75ZBJ-yCEBmTXUki04xErAJg9g0zU/s200/images.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You are positively insouciant</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</style>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-74518571740966936262019-05-17T05:36:00.001-07:002019-05-17T06:13:59.045-07:00Compression or how to get a restorative hug without touching another person.<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">When you velcro Fido's torso with a super snug vest called the Thunder Shirt, he
doesn't skid around your good walnut floors like an Olympic skater, barking and
chasing his tail every time the doorbell rings. He lies in his puffy bed, eyes
closed, thinking his dog thoughts: lick, eat, fetch, sniff, nap. </span><span style="color: black;">Someone sitting around
(like I often do) had a thought. Fido solved a big life problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could use that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="color: black;">Could it be? Can
we keep it together by pressing seriously against ourselves just short of
asphyxiation?</span>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">I remembered something. </span><span style="color: black;">The horrid dentist visit was suddenly okay when the nurse threw
the lead apron over me as a shield from the x-rays. That filthy heavy
piece of plastic sucked the anxiety out of me. Nothing was going to fall apart
- not my limbs, not my head, not my present or future. I was held in place by a
benevolent force. My crazy thoughts were still there but they were pinned down.
I liked it. <i>Hey, do that some more</i>, nursie. </span></span>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">The most popular compression item on the market
is the weighted blanket. It alleviates anxiety, insomnia, restlessness.
Most ads mention the hugging feel as the favorite benefit of throwing a
thirty-pound shroud over your body. Why not just stick with human hugging? It's
free. And it's everywhere. We have a hugging epidemic. Even men hug now.
They were exempt but they had to try it. Men hug sideways. Around 2016 however,
we grew tired of other people. We grew tired of interacting. Tired of talking
and definitely tired of listening. We now prefer to be alone with our
devices and be hugged by the blanket. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">What’s it like to sleep under a weighted
blanket? If the 600 thread count pima cotton sheet is like a whisper on your
legs, the 25 lb. weighted blanket is like Ethel Merman belting out Everything’s
Coming Up Roses without a mic. If you want to move your legs, you
willfully drag them.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">You might want to gift your anxious friend or a
relative whose narrative is off-track with a compression item. Here are
some suggestions.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">The <b>Calm Company</b> makes weighted blankets in 15,
20 or 25 lb. weight. The 25Ib. blanket is always sold out. Because, you
know - heavier. <i>Honey, can you get the crow bar and lift this boulder off of
me so I can go to work. </i>The reviews all say pretty much the same thing.
<i>I fall asleep faster and I sleep better. I bought it for my dad
who was struggling with anxiety.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">At <b>ETHOHOME</b> they call it the <i>Gravis Blanket.</i> The
gravis blanket holds you down and might give you gravitas. You can become a
pundit <b><i>and</i></b> get a hug. There are many brands of weighted blankets, but
the principles are the same: choose a weight, a fabric, a color, and a fill
(sand or beads are mentioned.) </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;"><b>WikiHow</b> has instructions on making your own
weighted blanket. I would make one, but the first step is going to a craft
store for beads. I could go to the beach or the driveway and pick up
pebbles. I also have to drag out my old sewing machine. To begin, you sew
several vertical tunnels through two pieces of fabric, fill with a portion of
pebbles and then sew horizontally every few inches, creating closed squares.
This technique is called "baffling" Baffling prevents the stones from
drifting to one place. You know what else is baffling? Crafting. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSoyqO1zdKrN52sOOaTuldxswMiqT8il16TMe1oRjCuRxz2bWCsyR8PaBlo5lB7PEJOF-SfGDyDzBA8iBRjyWbgXa9Q_98oiGiV0ywnfVpoQHgLwnjipJIFTJ38D1RQoPR44B9lg-gpwU/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSoyqO1zdKrN52sOOaTuldxswMiqT8il16TMe1oRjCuRxz2bWCsyR8PaBlo5lB7PEJOF-SfGDyDzBA8iBRjyWbgXa9Q_98oiGiV0ywnfVpoQHgLwnjipJIFTJ38D1RQoPR44B9lg-gpwU/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">You can buy compression clothing including Bomba
socks that have a ribbed swath that compresses the instep. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">In researching this post, I read reviews men
leave on the compression athletic wear pages on Amazon. Compression wear
is used for faster recovery after gross (tough) exertion. It takes a long time
to put on compression clothes, especially the tights. You have to stretch and
pull to get the item up on your body. In the reviews, men talk candidly about
the size of their bottoms and which brands give them the space they need.
Here's one gent that went that extra mile in reviewing his Tesla
compression tights.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #111111;">The good: The XL were tight
(as a good compression layer should be) so the sizing makes sense to me. The
bad: this is the only layer I own that doesn't have a wiener hole. Which isn't
necessarily a problem if you pull your pants down to whizz in the woods. Personally,
I like shooting through the wiener hole myself so it can get uncomfortable when
you have say five layers on and you try to shoot through four wiener holes, but
you have to pull just this layer down. It can be done but it's just not the
same. </span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #111111;">Father’s Day is almost here. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #111111;">* <b>Faith Popcorn</b> predicted all of this (the stay-at-home, self-sufficient human, twenty years ago in her book <b>Cocoon.</b></span></span></div>
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</style>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-33108204369074321722019-03-30T10:25:00.001-07:002019-03-30T10:26:33.805-07:00Oh no, oh no, oh no!<b id="docs-internal-guid-a8eb1dd8-7fff-6bcf-d4f5-b8ee4624bedd" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-a8eb1dd8-7fff-6bcf-d4f5-b8ee4624bedd" style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4F3xmd0906RN00VojR87kcKOnvxmysM4pSjWoN65TXxs2cHLbGCrydX5XX8VOejn6XlNDDH_AHbdg2suNUDUr20QxKC95JtngeV5wbUSm15FDc4gmp8iH4pZUgLvngKFnmZWpd9A25CQ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4F3xmd0906RN00VojR87kcKOnvxmysM4pSjWoN65TXxs2cHLbGCrydX5XX8VOejn6XlNDDH_AHbdg2suNUDUr20QxKC95JtngeV5wbUSm15FDc4gmp8iH4pZUgLvngKFnmZWpd9A25CQ/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="200" /></a></b></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Last night something happened to me that seldom
happens. I was sick, painfully sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was going to say sick as a dog but I’ve noticed that dogs are hardly
ever sick. They can eat a decaying hotdog out of the garbage, lick some
slurpy liquid off the sidewalk and still dance around and chase a stick until
your arm comes out of its socket.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was in such discomfort that I begged God to
help me. I writhed in pain<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- how
do you writhe in pain?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You turn hither
and yon and rub where it hurts and stretch out and do it all again - and then I
said, “Oh God, oh God, oh God. Help me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why would I think that after months, maybe years of no direct
communication, God would drop everything at 2 a.m. on a Friday night and say,
“Rise, take up your pallet and walk” But you know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God did help me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took three sequential baths and walked
around and got out my hot water bottle and did a few other things that are too
gross to mention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, soaking wet
from my third bath, I wrapped myself in a big towel and got in bed. I
tried my breathing technique and finally fell asleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I woke up four hours later, the pain was
gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still felt very tentative about
my stomach but I could manage it and I could walk around without wishing I was
dead.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The takeaway here (besides God) is that sound,
as in SOUND, even whining sound is very helpful when you are in pain.
Feel free to talk out loud about how much it hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. Groan and
say oh, no, oh, no. oh, no. Fortunately, I live alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I thought I should write this all down in case
you are ever in that situation.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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</style>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-70960666028550106402019-03-27T11:36:00.000-07:002019-03-27T11:49:25.689-07:00Suborning: that's when you have your baby in a submarine.<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">We hear these new awkward words every day. Our drunk uncle tells </span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">us what they mean.</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Collusion:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> This is when I’m driving and a dentist in a </span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Range Rover crashes into me.</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;">
</b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Perjury</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">: That’s where you go to throw up when you have an </span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">eating disorder</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;">
</b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Suborning</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">: That’s when you have your baby in a submarine</span></b></div>
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</b>
<br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"></b>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Subpoena</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">: That’s the green soup I don’t like. </span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">
</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;">
</b>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMnJWynonVA-eHZZ2yKNqILjc40wyyvDoQ80XY1luQzuCqdpwYKa1yVxh7KqrWDmo3-X3Ax6aJRwb6fSYtHQV0Zk_wnf76mcwD_SLCQY75AMd7qP1Ep9BzVJb9qEn91zZ5ACZUW1_pxA/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMnJWynonVA-eHZZ2yKNqILjc40wyyvDoQ80XY1luQzuCqdpwYKa1yVxh7KqrWDmo3-X3Ax6aJRwb6fSYtHQV0Zk_wnf76mcwD_SLCQY75AMd7qP1Ep9BzVJb9qEn91zZ5ACZUW1_pxA/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></b><b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Delegitimize</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">: That’s when you try to delete something by resizing it </span></b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">in a minescule font so nobody can read it.</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-77123fda-7fff-d43a-568b-21ea5e0b5723" style="font-weight: normal;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dossier</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">: That’s when you can't stay awake during <b><i>Roma</i></b>.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbELum9JLjOKbPb8TbzZvkziQvD7MKujH44iYQAQVm4fgf6My0Mc5Xx5Zcx8nShX9U3Bgq1SBNpUuqaiwmueTKrW4Q-q-WEUv-oq-bsI6NQfphLorH-ad-vqAEkBDLDNsZNHq3PyYFZLg/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="208" data-original-width="242" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbELum9JLjOKbPb8TbzZvkziQvD7MKujH44iYQAQVm4fgf6My0Mc5Xx5Zcx8nShX9U3Bgq1SBNpUuqaiwmueTKrW4Q-q-WEUv-oq-bsI6NQfphLorH-ad-vqAEkBDLDNsZNHq3PyYFZLg/s200/Unknown-1.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Fisa!</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> That stands for Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That’s some serious sh*t.</span></div>
</b>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-51513136328207130612019-03-07T11:19:00.003-08:002019-03-07T11:19:56.075-08:00Oh, Will, wherefore art thou?This morning I showered early took my ipad into the kitchen and listened to a YouTube meditation while I tidied up. I felt calm and in control. I was going to fast for the next ten hours. I was a grown up with will power to spare.<br />
<br />
AT 8:45, hunger began to knock. Ping, ping, ping. I made this to protect me:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Vh7SsztRqDvkrut2I0WINvoul6VshubXyRxXX57Isa4AHZl-VmzezaJUIzstHICHktqFm1gX0bOukL0vX_Xf-Cpwhza4GgABaK4Ii3D9G1Ri2S01LY2HSX9mO32r4mRutVxxktee8B8/s1600/IMG_0439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Vh7SsztRqDvkrut2I0WINvoul6VshubXyRxXX57Isa4AHZl-VmzezaJUIzstHICHktqFm1gX0bOukL0vX_Xf-Cpwhza4GgABaK4Ii3D9G1Ri2S01LY2HSX9mO32r4mRutVxxktee8B8/s200/IMG_0439.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No kale but avocado and red cabbage</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I wrapped the bowl to keep it fresh. It sat on the counter undisturbed.<br />
<br />
<br />
Around 9:05, moving robotically, like The Manchurian Candidate, I opened the freezer and found this.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDBER7Jb50FRX4NKQmwyk8sJ15I3nPLX0NVgCQxW6LaTp00jbotxs-jrq0qDtjMhs_ZbdRhSnPfWm8bbstFaODNbdq7LUUPXrwL_d_N_q0o7nmoTArUVEZy_QWBR860gogVmKqV5WXZkA/s1600/IMG_0437.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDBER7Jb50FRX4NKQmwyk8sJ15I3nPLX0NVgCQxW6LaTp00jbotxs-jrq0qDtjMhs_ZbdRhSnPfWm8bbstFaODNbdq7LUUPXrwL_d_N_q0o7nmoTArUVEZy_QWBR860gogVmKqV5WXZkA/s200/IMG_0437.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">48 ingredients,40 of them not food</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I microwaved it, cut it into dainty sections and ate it while moving around the room. <br />
<br />
Around 10:35, I was surprised to find this on the shelf and then in my hand: <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKxAK9l7a39cIPU-NWci00P6U2G3YP6ZzBkxNa9c9ItaQsfPOdLvL9EjHV-6gKCMa_ODmZPbt_FV_5U9B0gUHXpIUO9DFdSo0F4NrLM0KUbTdwlyShPCkvKDS-qgqGzsxU85cI-g0Htw/s1600/IMG_0438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKxAK9l7a39cIPU-NWci00P6U2G3YP6ZzBkxNa9c9ItaQsfPOdLvL9EjHV-6gKCMa_ODmZPbt_FV_5U9B0gUHXpIUO9DFdSo0F4NrLM0KUbTdwlyShPCkvKDS-qgqGzsxU85cI-g0Htw/s200/IMG_0438.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How did you get in my house?</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It held seven three inch tamales stuffed with a smidgen of ground beef in mild chili sauce<br />
I ate four of them michrowaved and three straight out of the can. <br />
<br />
It was barely 11 a.m. and I had been taken out. AFTER UMPTEEN ROUNDS OF THERAPY, TAPPING, EMDR, HYPNOSIS, DEVOTION TO ECKHART TOLLE, DEVOTION TO MEISTER ECKHART, OPRAH AND DEEPAK'S 21 DAY "HEAL YOUR ENTIRE SELF" CHALLENGE, THE SEVEN DAY CELERY JUICE LIFE CHANGING CLEANSE, FOURTEEN DAYS TO A TEENAGE LIVER, HARNESS YOUR HORMONES, GET YOUR GUT IN GEAR, GIVE THE BOOT TO BAD THOUGHTS, SAY HI TO YOUR GENIUS MIND, BEGONE BROWN FAT, HEAL YOUR ASS, why was I not armed against the ambush by a posse of bad hombres? <br />
<br />
Is life, as one of my children puts it, just one long act of de-assholefying yourself and then you die?<br />
<br />
It is 6:00 p.m. and here's the good news and the bad news. The good news: After the last tamale and a thorough tooth brushing, I forgot about food for the rest of the day. I answered my e-mails. I wrote this post for my blog after which I de-cluttered the lower kitchen cabinets. <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh69zvjLA_6WEIB6vys_9biqK7U_UKF_N9Pvwnzw7XFVuliISglNZEe3MwCGuWZ4nNsgXZQq-D_odyNkqIO0UJ8zr_sbcmRDlkgVNMRwjBBzF33zaH1rwFAWC3ak7C040s5PS2qq7DD_jE/s1600/IMG_0443.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh69zvjLA_6WEIB6vys_9biqK7U_UKF_N9Pvwnzw7XFVuliISglNZEe3MwCGuWZ4nNsgXZQq-D_odyNkqIO0UJ8zr_sbcmRDlkgVNMRwjBBzF33zaH1rwFAWC3ak7C040s5PS2qq7DD_jE/s200/IMG_0443.JPG" width="150" /> </a></td><td style="text-align: center;"> </td><td style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You're going to miss me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
For the "home exchange area" at the local recycling center.<br />
<br />
And the bottom drawer of my dresser.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic46yh4bdjyFyGumbslx-zCBCDe_sh9ZKkS4wtCpq-gD0GuokT_wE7MKTcoi4zYrKUmc1vhUs7B96jCZiJ-Y21RJlSxcUKk4wprcCvqu2IH4W8iJUgdBc_fnvhGrgDrZsqtlXYo2kfRaQ/s1600/IMG_0442.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic46yh4bdjyFyGumbslx-zCBCDe_sh9ZKkS4wtCpq-gD0GuokT_wE7MKTcoi4zYrKUmc1vhUs7B96jCZiJ-Y21RJlSxcUKk4wprcCvqu2IH4W8iJUgdBc_fnvhGrgDrZsqtlXYo2kfRaQ/s200/IMG_0442.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm going to miss you</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
For BigBrothersBigSisters. <br />
<br />
The bad news: there is no bad news. The same robot that made me eat also reclaimed the day and got hold of it. Maybe learning that I could do that was the lesson here. All is not lost over a 6-inch pizza and seven three inch tamales. Somebody gave me a shove and said, "Get over it and keep going."<br />
<br />Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-53834518855557242382019-02-23T06:30:00.001-08:002019-02-23T06:30:31.374-08:00I've got your back. It's who I am.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">What do you hate?</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">I hate it when people
rush to distance themselves from a social idea and say, “That’s not who I am.”
I am flummoxed to hear that anyone has parsed all their private and
public values and know who they are. I have no idea who I am and
sometimes when I’ve done something questionable, I will look in the mirror and
say, “Who are you?” Joe Biden used the phrase the other day speaking for
himself and all<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the citizens as if he is
our Uncle Joe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said Americans
wouldn’t want to keep illegal immigrants from crossing the border because
that’s not who we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Gayle King, repurposed
Oprah friend, uttered the sentiment (once removed) about Meghan Markle. The
Duchess re-gifted her baby shower flowers to Roses Repeat who gave them to the
homeless, the cancer ridden and the elderly. There was a picture of a
young girl - her head bald, her leg in a medical boot, holding an elaborate
bouquet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gayle said, “I thought it was a
very sweet thing. It just speaks to who she is.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmmmm.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Truth is, our core
personality is in the grip of a subconscious secret game plan hatched when we
were a year old and didn’t know the difference between a pebble and a Cheerio.
It’s almost impossible to get a copy of the dossier of who we are and
discover our m.o.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Anything else?</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b></b></div>
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<b></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> I hate it when you’re going somewhere or doing something and a
non-reflective dolt will say, “Have fun.” Fun is personal and
infrequent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You only know you’ve had
fun after it’s over. Fun is so impromptu that it makes me hate fun. Sometimes,
in order to preserve fun you have to cut it short. A lot of times people will
say “that was fun,” Usually, they mean it was a passable experience that
didn’t totally depress them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Is that it?</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> No. When a naif says
someone “has his/her back.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's a buzz phrase on the airwaves. </span><i>CarShield</i> has my back, this woman
says. No. They don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One man is
certain that <i>The Hartford </i>has his back. No. They don’t. The only situation
where someone <i>might</i> have your back is if a friend went with you to the
emergency room for a sprained ankle and the doctor misread your chart and
decided to take out your gallbladder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
when you were alone, the friend put all your clothes back on and helped you
hobble out of there and drove you home. The only person who might have your
back, in other words look after your interests with anything more than casual
curiosity, is your mother and that will end when you are about fourteen and
she realizes that your interests are opposed to her interests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one has your back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have fun.</span>
<br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Is there anything you do
like?</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">I used to like the
expression, “I’ve got this.” It’s smart nuanced quick talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Don’t worry about that difficult
task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to take it off
your hands and do a good job.” I wouldn’t mind saying it myself but I
don’t want to take any task off anyone’s hands.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">There’s one other thing
I like a lot. Michael Phelps, the gold medal champ in swimming, didn’t
have a warm personal image. Now he is my new very interesting hero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a public service spot he<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>talks about being in the pool hour after hour
and it’s just Michael and his thoughts and the bottom of the pool. He was
prone to depression and anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
didn’t know how to talk to people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
he knew was how to swim and win gold medals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He got help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He talked to
someone. And it helped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See?
When you are authentic and don’t go on too long, people like you.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Then there's this. I
thought I was too old to have a crush on an actor but I have a crush on Jon
Tenney who plays the love interest to Kyra Sedgwick on <i>The Closer</i>.
I think it takes a particular kind of man to tease a woman gently and she
is comforted by it. Fritz (Jon) teases Brenda Lee (Kyra)
gently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she (reluctant to have him
move in) asks “How do I know after you move in that you won’t stop liking me?”
He answers, “Because if I was going to stop liking you, it would have
happened by now.” I like that. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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</style>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-71351875191350207032018-10-12T05:16:00.002-07:002018-10-12T14:56:45.546-07:00Any show billed as "heartwarming" count me out.<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Any show billed as "heartwarming," Count me out. Heart wrenching. Heart stopping, Heart healthy. Out. Out. Out. Inspirational? Sorry, out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Any dancing with the word Celtic attached to it. Out. A row of stocky women dancing in unison using their hips and legs like pistons? (I don't know what pistons do but it sounds like they explode into action.) What if the dancers levitate and defy gravity? Out. Throw in <i>all</i> precision dancing including the Rockettes. The beloved Rockettes? They practiced so hard. We don't care. Buh, bye.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Any show where the hero's name ends in i as in Benji. I'm out. I do like to watch Lassie and Timmy in the old series for the politically and socially incorrect dialogue and behavior. The kids are left alone all day. They sleep in the woods with their head up against a log. The fat kid is named Porky. Grandpa calls the gypsies that squat on his land varmints. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Any show presented by Hallmark. Especially around Christmas. Especially if a poor abandoned kid wants to be reunited with his father and the miracle of the Christmas Wish brings back a sad failed drunk. In this vein, it's getting tedious watching Ellen give all that money to "deserving" people. Ellen has <b>devalued </b>the dollar all by herself. <i>"You get ten thousand and you get ten thousand."</i> We might as well smush Christmas and Hallmark and Ellen together and call it Hellemas We don't have to fight about who gets to put up chreches and menorahs <span class="ilfuvd">in the village square. </span> An all-inclusive holiday will be Hellemas and the symbol is a giant check made out to each of us from Shutterfly. (Aside: my daughter reminded me that George Bush sent everyone a check for $300 when he was president.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don't want to see any more sassy women in sit coms. If I'm hungry for sass, I'll look up Leslie Jones on You-Tube, the queen of epic dangerous sass. I don't want to see any more clueless husbands either. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I've never watched <i>This Is Us </i>because of the bowing and scraping when one of the actors wearing a mantle of preciousness does a guest spot. If anchors/hosts are genuflecting and professing bouts of sobbing I know there's fake greatness going on. I made the mistake of watching hyper hyped <i>Modern Family</i>. I saw a caricature of gay marriage. The kids have amazing insight. Annoying. Sofia Vergara speaks ten decibels louder than everyone else. She's a bit of a bully, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I sometimes watch very old shows on the Cozi Channel. I saw an episode of <i>Little House on the Prairie </i>where the new schoolmaster who has an anger management problem begins beating hard on the kids with a stick and hates Laura. Riveting. Hates Laura???????? I can only watch episodes of <i>LHOTP </i>before Mary goes blind. Then she marries a blind man and I have to figure out how they do everything. No. Here's where I might condone a Christmas Miracle and a Shutterfly check. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On Starttv, I've discovered re-runs of <i>Medium</i>- eerie and good. Cozi has <i>Murder She Wrote</i>, mindless and fabulous to accompany a late lunch. <i>The Nanny</i>, still good (when you are up early.) <i>Will and Grace</i>- fresh the first time, tiresome and annoying now. Somebody please tell Debra Messing. <i>The Rockford Files</i>- Jimmy Garner is still engaging. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You've still got it, girl</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">You-Tube special episodes of</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><i style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt;">The Price is Right, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy </i><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">are amusing. Only epic wins and epic fails.</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Satisfying and often inappropriate.</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Note: Recently I saw this sentence and it stopped me. "Awake for sorrow and unsorrow." I think about that sentence a lot and it makes me want to be a better writer.</span>Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-77649990844169986992018-08-22T11:08:00.000-07:002018-08-22T14:24:44.444-07:00Ode to Elon Musk<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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As he choked back tears and rubbed eyes that were gritty<o:p></o:p></div>
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Elon moaned to <i>The Times </i>that his life was quite shitty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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No one knows what it takes to make self-driving cars.<o:p></o:p></div>
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No one knows what it takes to get people to Mars.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So much could go wrong and it's all on my shoulder<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's like that guy Sisyphus pushing the boulder.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I sleep here in the factory, eating bad cheese and crackers<o:p></o:p></div>
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while a gaggle of short sellers makes one billion smackers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My children are strangers, my house so melancholy<o:p></o:p></div>
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I need help! I need help. To continue this folly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And my birthday alone with no friends and no cake.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Please help me wake up from this horrid mistake.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Otherwise I just find it is too sad to handle<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not a song, not a wish cause there weren't even candles.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The tweet about Tesla might have been premature,<o:p></o:p></div>
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We <i>could </i>take it private; of course now I'm not sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He was stoned, they surmised. He was tweeting from bars<o:p></o:p></div>
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If I'm high it's on dreams about dying on Mars<o:p></o:p></div>
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The directors were startled and came after me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Who I really pissed off was the S. E and C.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was Forbes favorite star, the most blessed event<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wunderkind, genius, unstoppable gent<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now I crawl like a dog through the factory's basement<o:p></o:p></div>
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While the board in their mansions find my replacement<o:p></o:p></div>
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I might be unhinged, going nuts, you would, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, in truth, there is nothing much I can do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I see a future that is quite fantastic <o:p></o:p></div>
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And to bring it about takes a life this monastic<o:p></o:p></div>
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The worst might be over for the firm's in good form<o:p></o:p></div>
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After all, what I sell is escape from the norm<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I'm bracing for torture in my personal life<o:p></o:p></div>
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Cause the short sellers are not done giving me strife<o:p></o:p></div>
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They are pushing a story that Tesla's run out of luck<o:p></o:p></div>
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But why? You might ask. Aah. The almighty buck.<o:p></o:p></div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-77760692466611062522018-08-14T07:34:00.000-07:002018-08-14T07:34:45.607-07:00The Proust Questionnaire<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Vanity Fair Magazine has a feature, The Proust Questionnaire, that they give to famous people. I gave the quiz to myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your idea of perfect happiness?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Finish writing a book late at night and crawl into bed perfectly satisfied that I have been rescued yet again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What historical figure do you most identify with? <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Andy Warhol. He interpreted the world around him with childlike brutal innocence. His take on life is mostly my take on life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? </b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Talking too much. Responding when silence would do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your greatest fear?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Choking to death and there’s no one around. Choking is circumstantial not inevitable. I don’t want to die circumstantially.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Which living person do you most admire?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jerry Seinfeld. He has figured out who he is and doesn’t apologize. When <i>Seinfeld </i>was over and he was left with a ton of money, Jerry returned to stand-up, a tough crushing world. "I didn’t want to be another rich guy, I wanted the griminess," he said. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is the trait you most deplore in others?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Taking too long to give information. As a novelist, I happily talk to everybody but I don’t like long-windedness from self-appointed specialists. On the other hand, you can take as long as you like reconstructing, minute by minute, the day you gave birth to little Suzy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What do you consider the most overrated virtue?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Telling the truth.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your greatest extravagance?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Keeping my house hot in winter. My utility company sends me “heat shaming” messages saying I use twice as much power as my neighbors. "Oh, really? I notice you still cash the check.” When people come into my house, they say, "It feels so good in here." By the way, I don't use air-conditioning in summer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your favorite journey?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am mildly agoraphobic. I like to stay home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>On what occasion do you lie?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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I lie all the time. I believe lying has saved the social system from chaos.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What do you dislike most about your appearance?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Too short.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Which words or phrases do you most overuse?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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"I know." (Spoken with surprise and delight as an answer to everything I agree with.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your greatest regret?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Turning down a sex column offered to me by Mort Persky when he was editing the female version of Playboy. “Mort,” I said, “I was raised in a convent school. I put on my nightgown over my clothes and then undressed.” “That’s why I want you,” he said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What or who is the greatest love of your life?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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My brilliantly funny children.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Which talent would you most like to have?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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I would love to be a world-class tap dancer. How can you not want to tap dance? Fred Astaire was the coolest person on this earth.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your current state of mind?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Recovering. Kafka would understand.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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I would be six inches taller and that would change everything else - the </div>
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talking, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8660GmDJI2sV2NDc8TfuiRPGMoR4O8RQkL1tE7-JP2m7xKumQ2nDGwRcav8yVGCpq_5zFN6Gds7HDgpp752agLvlBanJT1tCsGG3pnxDco6XNlAAan0kIQ9flHWqAJJ2FmRZsKnJfho/s1600/100_final_final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="802" data-original-width="602" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8660GmDJI2sV2NDc8TfuiRPGMoR4O8RQkL1tE7-JP2m7xKumQ2nDGwRcav8yVGCpq_5zFN6Gds7HDgpp752agLvlBanJT1tCsGG3pnxDco6XNlAAan0kIQ9flHWqAJJ2FmRZsKnJfho/s200/100_final_final.jpg" width="150" /></a><o:p> </o:p><b>What do you consider your greatest achievement?</b> My book, <b>Three Daughters</b>, has sold almost half a million copies. It is over 700 pages long. My greatest achievement, however, is poorly edited, rambling, at times incomprehensible, <b>One Hundred Open Houses</b>. Reading passages from that book lets me know I’ve done something important and lasting and occasionally hysterically funny. </div>
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<b>What is your most treasured possession?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Two thin pure gold bracelets given to me by the most generous and loving woman I know, my Aunt Mary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery</b>? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Overeating and then overeating on top of that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is the quality you most like in a man?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Most women ask for humor in a man. I like a man who quietly fixes things. Most likely, other good qualities will follow. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is the quality you most like in a woman?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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To do her best and move forward with the hand that is dealt. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What do you most value in your friends?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s a phrase in fiction, “they fell on each other.” I like a friend that you see coming toward you from down the street and you just grin at each other because there is perfect understanding and then you fall on each other. I don't have many friends.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Who is your favorite writer?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don't have a favorite writer. I admire Elizabeth Strout for Olive Kitteridge, Ernest Hemingway for A Moveable Feast. Andy Warhol for The Andy Warhol Diaries, Jeannette Walls for The Glass Castle. I'm sure there are many others I can't think of right now. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Who is your favorite “hero” of fiction?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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The seriously flawed yet charismatic Mick Haller. Michael Connelly's Lincoln Lawyer exhibits ironic humor, generosity and street smarts while always acknowledging his flaws and past mistakes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Who are your heroes in real life?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Me, Consuelo Saah Baehr. With a lot of good luck I have re-invented myself dozens of times and always landed in a good zip code. I also admire Jimmy Carter, he was considered a clueless hick by the press but he kept on going; Elmore Leonard, an honest, prolific working writer until he died; Tony Bennett still singing complicated love songs. I like people who don’t stop and complain and feel victimized. That said, I love to complain and consider it one of life’s pleasures.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What are your favorite names?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is a stupid question. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is it that you most dislike?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Cheap, overly manufactured food (or clothes). Think Chips Ahoy, boxed macaroni and cheese, soft, white sliced bread. On the other hand, there are “Fritos.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>What is your motto?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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It used to be a line from a forgotten poem, “Like everyone else, I am being tortured to death.” In the last ten years it is from a poem by Mark Van Doren, “I’m a sucker for things the way they are.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-21551477112735727492018-05-22T06:37:00.001-07:002018-05-22T06:43:38.707-07:00NOT ENOUGH SLEEP<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">You know what I hate?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone over explains something like placenta cord banking and how it can build a new arm or a heart for their baby in the future and how they will be glad to send you all the literature in case you want to bank your placenta cord, too. But you have to store it while it’s still warm and be sure the guy who sold you the service is waiting at your vjay ready to receive it and you're not embarrassed because - you know, miracle of birth - and if you want they will give you his number and you wish you could take some placenta cord and wrap it around their neck while they are talking and pull it tighter and tighter until their eyes bulge and then you let them go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone over pronounces like Alex Trebek saying Nicaragua so hard it's a diy tonsillectomy that shuts down taping. Or a dinner guest says <i>tiramisu</i> and expects you to genuflect and they keep saying it over and over to show they’re sophisticated and can pronounce it and brought something expensive and all you want to do is take the pudding glob and stuff it down their throat like a goose you want to force feed to harvest pate and watch them gag and then their eyes bulge and then finally you let them go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone over describes their vacation and how the sunsets had ten colors and the sunrises had twelve and the hotel staff was so nice they could have stayed there forever and you wish they had and they keep insisting you should go there and you say well I would go there if you hadn’t ruined it for me with your frantic enthusiasm about the stupid sunsets and who the hell cares about your stupid trip and your stupid life. And you would like to take one of those hammock ropes and wrap it around their neck and pull it tight until their eyes bulge and then let them go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone just read something and it was the best thing they'd ever read and they'll let you borrow the book and maybe they could drop it off on the way to work tomorrow and even if you live to be 100 you will never read that book because now you hate it and you hate them and you want to take the hood string out of your new hoodie that you had to get on a waiting list to buy and wrap it around their neck and pull it tight until their eyes bulge and then let them go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone tells you about their new meal plan and how Hello Fresh sends just the right amount of cilantro and peeled garlic in little bags and it doesn't cost any more and it lets you give your family a decent dinner even though you have a stressful job and the phrase "give your family" sets you off because why the hell is it your job to give your family anything and when they ask if you would like a month of meals as a present you swear to eat Chef-Boy-R-Dee ravioli out of the can over the sink for a month if you can put the Hello Fresh package tape around their necks and hope some of the glue still sticks so you can begin taping their esophagus and pull tight until their eyes bulge before you let them go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone says they are on the paleo diet and it was the best thing ever and they feel terrific and their eyes see better and their ears hear better and you can't imagine how much it improves your life and you think how much your life would be improved if these vapid imbeciles would never show up again. and you want to take some spiralized zucchini and wrap it around their neck and pull it tight and will it not to break until their eyes bulge before you let them go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 14pt;">What?</span></i><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> Too angry?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-54586109399243718152018-05-19T09:01:00.001-07:002018-05-19T09:33:59.815-07:00A GREAT ROM-COM SEASON FINALE <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglNqexB-s3ChdfQonSuQIuMey3KwaLU-7UeHRVuWkdyhp2s627mNicz5T_tyU3PoYpHhl-hVrJdQFC-VUFje9riWEWJVviEwDXxQlNrDtL9yfn9EGzzUZ2EqWg9-YhxLhyphenhyphens_4GhdB_vAc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-05-19+at+11.41.58+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="629" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglNqexB-s3ChdfQonSuQIuMey3KwaLU-7UeHRVuWkdyhp2s627mNicz5T_tyU3PoYpHhl-hVrJdQFC-VUFje9riWEWJVviEwDXxQlNrDtL9yfn9EGzzUZ2EqWg9-YhxLhyphenhyphens_4GhdB_vAc/s200/Screen+Shot+2018-05-19+at+11.41.58+AM.png" width="171" /></a></div>
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I got up at five a.m. for the royal wedding. I wanted to see every big and tiny moment. It was more than worth it. I was left with some thoughts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hands down Doria, the bride's mother, was the classiest and most beautiful person at the wedding after her daughter. She was quietly dignified. Endearingly teary. She let Prince Charles be her partner without timidity or fuss. She looked gorgeous.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kudos to Prince Charles for picking up all the loose threads with ease and charm and for taking care of Doria and Meghan for his boy.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Meghan had one expression: a big indefatigable smile that never left her face. She smiled through the small moments and the big moments. </div>
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Prince William was chatty with his brother and with his father. He is immensely likeable. He did his job without grandstanding. He let his brother wave alone to the crowds when they were walking to the church. It was Harry's day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of the guests. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don't remember Pippa being so beautiful. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Fergie was greeted warmly by her daughter's fiancee but didn't get to sit with her daughters or her ex in the royal section. Why do they humiliate her?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Victoria Beckham always looks pissed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Amal and George didn't whisper to each other while they were strolling to the church or when they waited in the pews. They didn't look at each other either. George smiled at the crowd but Amal didn't smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Serena and Alexis talked and looked at each other and smiled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Oprah didn't get a lot of camera time. She seemed less significant in England than she is in the U.S. <br />
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Good moments: <o:p></o:p></div>
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William and Harry talking casually while waiting for the ceremony to begin. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Harry tearing up immediately at the altar. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Harry looked anxious. He looked like a groom who was worried the bride would be a no-show.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The word <b>besotted</b> was invented for the look on Harry's face when Meghan appeared and when he moved her veil back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Both the Queen and Philip, in their nineties, got out of the car and walked unaided, even up many steps. The phrase <i>noblesse oblige </i>comes to mind. Their stony confusion was priceless when the Gospel Choir began to sing <i>Stand by Me</i>. It made me think of <i>Sister Act </i>and I expected Whoopi Goldberg. </div>
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James Corden was there with his wife. I wouldn't have been surprised to see him do a car karaoke with Elton John right in the center aisle. That's the kind of wedding it was.<o:p></o:p><br />
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The Chicago minister talked a tad too long or maybe his energetic delivery made it seem long.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don't think Meghan knew the words to <i>God Save The Queen. </i>National anthems make everyone appear as they did in first grade.</div>
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Kate was another non-smiler. I think I saw an eye roll, too. Maybe the post-partum hormones are still kicking in. The kids behaved. The boys in charge of the very long veil did their job. Charlotte did, too. She waved energetically.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The cello player was fantastic. I wish he had played earlier in the ceremony. After the pre ceremony wait and the emotional vows and the Chicago minister the guests were both tired and overstimulated. They were anxious for the newlyweds to reappear. Bravo to the cellist though. Only nineteen years old.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The best part of the wedding was the crowds. The crowds made a magnificent statement to the joy and fun people crave and will not be denied. This was a once in a century opp to experience a fairytale. Hooray to all those who traveled from all over the world and waited for hours, days, to watch this great rom-com climax. The crowds and their cheering gave the wedding heft and made it work as a historic moment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-70285451817556318442018-04-16T06:37:00.000-07:002018-04-16T06:37:47.121-07:00AH EFFACEMENT, I HARDLY KNEW YE.<br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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I was watching PBS on a Sunday afternoon and although dozing off, my ears perked up when the interviewer asked the guest the title of her next book and she said, "<i>Effacement</i>." What?????? Finally!!!!!! Effacement is a crazy awesome frontier that women encounter each time they give birth and no one has elevated it to the WTF platform where it truly belongs. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In effacement your cervix, against all rules of body behavior, suddenly flattens out and stretches (dilates)sideways ten centimeters like a bored schoolboy making faces. If you weren't consumed with pain, you might be enthralled with the magic of it. Think if any other body aperture suddenly stretched several times its normal size. What if your nose did that? What if your nostrils flattened against your face every Thursday and the two holes stretched out ten centimeters? What if your ear did that? What if you could fit your entire iPhone inside your ear and carry it there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One centimeter is equal to .3937 inches. A dilation of ten cm's is just shy of four inches. If the U.S. used the metric system, women would know they were screwed. What baby's head can fit through four inches? The delivery team talks in centimeters and uses terms like <i>cesarean </i>and <i>placenta previa </i>because there are a million things worrisome and unfair with this movie. They get all Latin-y on you and talk in Arthurian language to obfuscate the reality. <span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #545454; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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If you're having a <i>cesarean</i>, they put a sign above your bed that says "Nil by mouth." What the heck does that mean? Are they going to put something in me through my ass? Just know that <i>cesarean </i>means they're going to cut you open like a watermelon and take the baby out. <i>Placenta previa </i>means a rogue placenta has barricaded the exit door and therefore they have to cut you open like a watermelon. My first ob-gyn, Dean Grandin, was a specialist in <i>placenta previa </i>although he didn't get to use his expertise on me. He did have to turn the baby's head into the right position and I believe they are still talking about my screams across the river in New Jersey.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-13560030746349038572018-02-15T10:14:00.000-08:002018-02-15T10:14:23.022-08:00120 square foot master bedroom<div class="post-body entry-content" style="font-size: 13.52400016784668px; line-height: 1.5; position: relative; width: 478px;">
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This morning I woke up in my 120 square foot master bedroom on my non-pillow topped Serta under my 250 thread count sheets with a ‘low fill power ‘ comforter. I’ve watched enough HGTV to know that even first time homeowners barely out of their teens who have been living in her parents’ basement to save for a down payment demand a grand Master Bedroom with an <i>en suite</i> bathroom. My bathroom is not <i>en suite</i> (there’s barely a room and definitely not a suite). My bathroom, at best, could be described as a Jack and Jill. That means it’s meant to serve two bedrooms inhabited by a boy and a girl whose parents named them Jack and Jill when those names were still usable. Even though there is no “master” in my house, I’m thinking I’ve settled and why didn’t I notice this before? </div>
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I made a list of the places I’ve lived and searched for the wrong turn I might have taken.<br />1. Three boarding schools.<br />2. Three studio apartments in New York City steps from glam Fifth Avenue. <br />3. Newly married I was “at home” at the north end of Park Avenue. <br />4. As a new mother I nursed my newborn in the chauffeur’s cottage in shadowy, secretive estate-choked Mill Neck, L.I.<br />5. As a middle-aged mother I yelled at my children in Lattingtown Harbor, L.I. within the old gated estate of J. P. Morgan’s lawyer, Mr. Guthrie. <br />6. Presently, I live in the village of East Hampton, N.Y. one and a half miles from the Atlantic Ocean and sleep in the smallest bedroom I’ve ever had.</div>
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The most interesting house I lived in was at 3102 Cleveland Avenue, Washington, D.C. and had previously belonged to Truman’s V.P. Alben Barkley. The Barkleys left a lot of government memorabilia in the basement that could probably make me a millionaire today but I think my Uncle Charlie threw it away. Barkley died while giving a speech at Washington & Lee Univ. “<i>I would rather be a servant in the house of the Lord than sit on the seats of the mighty,”</i> he said and then collapsed. I’m like Alben. I have the residential mind-set of a peasant. I don’t want to sit in the seats of the mighty either. Tracing the past shows me that I am most likely to choose a humble repair-needy dwelling in a great zip code. </div>
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Recently I did some house refurbishing. I painted the living room a medium gray and it looks sophisticated in a “An unexpected color can transform a summer cottage” way. I painted the outside soffits and fascias and trim and got new storm windows and new leaders and gutters. It all looks as good as it will ever look unless I tear the house down and start anew. Since I cut down the overbearing tree in the backyard, the sunlight streams in throughout the day but especially around three o’clock. It is a cheerful, welcoming light that leaves nothing in shadow. With the tree gone I will be able to have a vegetable garden for the first time in my life. I could sleep in any room in the house. I could make the living room my bedroom if I wanted. I could sleep in a bedroom that occupies the entire gabled attic floor. With the tree gone and my house all spiffed up and much of my stuff given away or thrown away, let’s see how I do in 2013. I will probably own this house for the rest of my life. It’s a good house with big fat water filled radiators that give off a mellow heat. I can dry my clothes on them and sit on them when I come in from the cold. I can walk to everything in the village and the railroad is a block away. There’s a studio cottage in back that I occasionally rent out for the night or sleep in when my kids come to visit. There’s a garage filled with all the stuff I took out of the basement. (For some reason, the empty basement gives me confidence.) This spring I will plant my vegetable garden. I'll start turning over the soil as soon as the ground is soft. Whatever psychological map led me to this house, it feels okay.</div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-61992832204691255442018-01-05T04:45:00.000-08:002018-01-05T04:45:56.319-08:00"Your own secrets sucked out of you..."<div class="post-body entry-content" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.52400016784668px; line-height: 1.5; position: relative; width: 478px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;"><i>(one of the good things FB does is re-post some of my old entries. I like this one.)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;"><i>I wonder which is preferable, to walk around all your life swollen up with your own secrets until you burst from the pressure of them, or to have them sucked out of you, every paragraph, every sentence, every word of them, so at the end you're depleted of all that was once as precious to you as hoarded gold, as close to you as your skin - everything that was of the deepest importance to you, everything that made you cringe and wish to conceal, everything that belonged to you alone - and must spend the rest of your days like an empty sack flapping in the wind, an empty sack branded with a bright fluorescent label so that everyone will know what sort of secrets used to be inside you? This is from Margaret Atwood</i></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;"><i><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Really? On first reading I love the idea of this quote but then...? I'd love to have all my secrets sucked out of me. Secrets are not all that precious. The stuff I wished to conceal when I was trying to make my way, I gladly reveal now. I like to sit around. I'm an emotional eater. I am not against lying although I'm recently adverse to stealing. I have intimacy problems. I'm full of shame sometimes. Every successful social encounter leaves me feeling filthy. Yes, filthy. I still talk too much. So what? 'So what' to everything. I call it my "so what" cure. </span></i></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;">There are still scenes from the past that make me cringe. Cringe as in hunching my shoulders inward and turning to confront myself. When I write that sentence the scenes become insignificant. I call this my "state exactly what is troubling you and it will diminish" cure. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;">The things that are precious to me, images that I remember with a full heart are not secrets at all. They are small ephemeral moments that catch someone close to me stunned by life. Yes, life can stun you, good or bad. In that moment, there are no secrets - just you and the thing itself. And you can recover. You can recover from almost anything.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 21px;">I recently saw </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 21px;"><i>The Master</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 21px;">, and the best scene in that movie is when Phillip Seymour Hoffman sits very close to Joaquin Phoenix and asks him the sort of questions that I wish someone would ask me.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;"><i>What is the most important thing in your life? What do you wish would happen more than anything in the world? What makes you most afraid?</i> </span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;">The answers are not the answers of old: children, health, accidents. </span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;">The most important thing in my life is the ability to keep on going. More than anything in the world I wish to know myself better. I am most afraid of fulfilling my childhood dreams.</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;"><br /></span></span></div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-16080696204858772122017-12-07T06:38:00.000-08:002017-12-07T06:38:56.460-08:00Look what I got last night.Amazon has translated Fortune's Daughters into German and last night I got a boxful of paperbacks in the German language.<div>
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If you follow this blog and read in German I would be happy to send an autographed paperback to the first five people who request it.</div>
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if you have a relative who reads in German and would like to give the novel as a gift, that would be fine, too. Leave name and mailing address. </div>
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I am ever grateful for followers. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Oh, and Merry Festivus, too.</div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-5026909047946361602017-11-13T06:09:00.000-08:002017-11-13T06:09:51.065-08:00Bitch Better Have My Money. Brapp!<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a folder for unrealized blog ideas with a paragraph
or two to remind me of the emotional tone I had in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are three entries in the folder:<o:p></o:p></div>
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This was written at 8:15 a.m. on August 3<sup>rd</sup>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">THERE ARE days when I
feel so inadequate, so lacking in ability to add anything of value to any
social situation. The words that spill out are vapid noise – they reverberate
in mocking chords. It makes me squish my eyes together and bring my forehead
low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to make my face disappear. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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On August 3<sup>rd</sup> when I wrote that paragraph we were
in the middle of a pleasant moderate summer in the beautiful village of East
Hampton where I live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Early mornings on
Georgica Beach on the Atlantic Ocean were stunning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All my kids had jobs and the grandkids were
thriving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no threats to health or
finances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a new book out and the
reviews were good. What degree of self-loathing could make me want to make my
face disappear?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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A very different entry: September 29, 7:29 p.m.</div>
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I often watch re-runs of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lassie</i></b>. Parents would now
go to jail for everything the Mom and Dad let Timmy do on that show. Five or
six year old Timmy is allowed to fend for himself, day or night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes he sleeps in the woods (against a
log and without a blanket). Cayotes roam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Timmy is regularly left alone in the house with his chubby friend Porky
(yes, they call him Porky). The boys turn on the stove and sometimes start a
fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Porky will eat an entire roast, an
entire pie, etc. In one episode, Timmy gave all the food in the house to Gypsy
squatters down by the river and that sent Gramps into apoplexy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Get
those varmints off my land.” </i>I kind of miss that incorrect America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later the homeless, foodless gypsies, who
were insanely happy, were playing their stringed instruments and it turned out
they knew some of Gramps’ songs and they ended up friends, singing together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s another entry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>November 9<sup>th</sup>, 7:06 a.m.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One of the best of the tech things in the pipeline is a cash
free society. No more greenbacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll
pay with a fingertip or our eyes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
will eliminate people asking to borrow money and people offering to lend
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will do away with those awful encounters
when you have to ask for money you have loaned that is in the time limit danger
zone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But that’s in the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Until then, I bring you Rihanna’s fabulous “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bitch Better Have My Money.”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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I don’t pretend to understand most of the lyrics in this
song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Every time I drop I am the
only thing you're playin'<br />
In a drop top, doin' hundred, y'all in my rearview mirror racin'<br />
Where y'all at? Where y'all at? Where y'all at?<br />
Like brrap, brrap, brrap</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
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The important thing here is that instead of a mealy mouth
apologetic, “Ah, when do you think you can pay me back that twenty-three
dollars I loaned you last month to pay for your lunch?” we can say:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pay me what you owe
me, don’t act like you forgot. Bitch better have my money. Yayo. Moo-la-lah.
Yayo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Brrap!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-29169177951805740602017-11-06T06:08:00.000-08:002017-11-07T14:44:48.572-08:00Me and my life. Me and my life. Will you shut up about that. It’s not important.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">For several
months, I’ve been listening to the lectures of Eckhart Tolle on You-Tube* trying
to understand what the heck he’s talking about and see if I can use any of </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">it to improve my
experience on this earth. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Eckhart came to world prominence with his enduring
bestseller </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Power of Now. </i><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Like
many, I was enthralled for two reasons:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">the
book brilliantly documents how ignorant I am and the spiritual discipline presented
is impossible to follow or understand.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Eckhart has an answer for this.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">He says, “Some of you will say, ‘What the
heck is he talking about?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I’m
bored.’</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">You are not ready.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">That’s all right. You’ll be back in a few
years.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I like
Eckhart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is not robust like Tony
Robbins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is likely to slump. He wears
a beige sweater vest. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is pale. We
can’t even imagine what he does when he leaves the stage. Maybe he has a cup of
tea and one of those miserly English sandwiches with some butter and one thin slice
of ham. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Memo to the Brits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> World </span>War II rationing is over.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eckhart’s jokes are only funny because we
don’t expect him to understand our everyday life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is likely to mirror our lives with
statements like this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You tell
yourself, ‘I’m finally happy, I’ve found my soul mate.’ After a few months, the
soul mate has become annoying and you wish he or she would go away.” Eckhart
laughs at our attempts at happiness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
laugh comes out as a strangulated snicker.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I like Eckhart’s
backstory. It is the best backstory for predicting huge adult success. Childhood
was morose and troubled. His parents quarreled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Eckhart was academically brilliant but experienced crippling suicidal depression.
I am interested in anyone who has crippling depression as opposed to bearable,
low energy depression like the rest of us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
a young adult, Eckhart talks about “being drawn into a void.” Imagine being
sucked down into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A. Big. Black. Hole.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">"I couldn't live with myself any longer," he wrote. "And in this a question arose without an answer: who is the 'I' that cannot live with the self? What is the self? I felt drawn into a void! I didn't know at the time that what really happened was the mind-made self, with its heaviness, its problems, that lives between the unsatisfying past and the fearful future, collapsed. It dissolved. The next morning I woke up and everything was so peaceful. The peace was there because there was no self. Just a sense of presence or being-ness, just observing and watching."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Tolle went for a walk in London the next morning and found that "everything was miraculous, deeply peaceful." (Reminiscent of St. Paul's instantaneous conversion, being struck by blinding light on the road to Damascus.) Eckhart stopped studying for his doctorate and for a period of two years spent much of his time sitting "in a state of deep bliss" on park benches in London "watching the world go by." ** He bunked in a Buddhist Monastery or slept outside. His parents thought he was crazy. Friends began to come to him for advice and counsel and out of these years of meditative awareness, he wrote T<i>he Power of Now.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><i>The Power of Now </i>was not immediately successful. In 2000 Oprah recommended it in <i>O </i>Magazine and the reliable Oprah effect catapulted the book onto the <i>New York Times</i> bestseller list. Oprah tries to Oprah-fy Eckhart and offers podcasts wherein she prods the slumped, slow to answer spiritualist with her hyper excited questions. (An aside on the power of Oprah. She has convinced both Deepak Chopra and Eckhart to partner with her on packaged offerings that she often gives for free to the world. So far the only person that has said NO to Oprah is Jonathan Franzen, the novelist, who caused sequential strokes at his publisher, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, by refusing to put his book, <i>The Connections,</i> in Oprah's Book Club. ***)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">So. A little clarity. Eckhart's big point is that the self that our minds have created and is kept in motion by habitual thoughts and memories - the person who hated eggplant and was picked on in grade school and was good at math and had no date for the prom but won a scholarship to Dartmouth is NOT WHO WE ARE. We are not the sum of our past. And as for the future. Oh boy! Eckhart thinks this is the biggest fraud of all. There is no future we can count on. No future that will deliver realization of our hopes and reams. Ideas like that make him snicker at our foolishness. "Who you are has no history, no past. It isn't what your mind tells you you are." Put simply: Me and my life. Me and my life. Shut up about your life. It has no importance. We are undifferentiated consciousness that holds our history but is much, much more. And this consciousness (aka bliss) is available at any moment. In fact it is only available in this moment. Now. See? What the heck is he talking about?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">There is one marketing flaw with Eckhart's message. Consciousness and awareness and getting rid of your adorable self do not sound like an exciting payoff for giving up our customary egoistic addictions. Eckhart isn't "selling it." The simple states of being do not excite our imagination. The only glimmer of fun that he offers is that if we live in the NOW and pay attention to NOW life will be easier. Life will unfold in a good way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">When asked "How do we achieve this awareness, the stillness, the presence?" Eckhart suggests that we go outside and observe the beauty of nature. We might also observe our breathing or tune in to our bodies. He tells us not to complain when the traffic light is red or the supermarket line is long but instead to study our surroundings. To be present. Hmm. I am a restless, shallow breathing indoor person.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Despite this imperfect, confused review of the man the New York Times dubs the most important current spiritual figure, <b>I believe Eckhart has something important to teach me </b>and if I stick with it, I, too, will have an epiphany. By the way, Eckhart doesn't say that his message is original. He frequently quotes the <i>Bible, A Course In Miracles, the Bhagavad Gita, Meister Eckhart </i>to bolster his message.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Here are a few of Eckhart's accessible practices I try to incorporate into daily life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>The best way to treat any event (good or bad) is to acknowledge that it happened but not to color it with judgment and emotion.</b> When my hot water heater broke and there was water in the basement, I said, "Oh, look. My hot water heater broke." I called a good plumber who installed a new one the same day. No hand wringing and whining.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>Surrender to what is. </b>When you argue with what is, unhappiness, anger, despair arises. The mind is always telling you this isn't right, I don't like what's going on, I don't like the way I'm being treated, why does this always happen to me. It's that pesky mind. Eckhart implores us to surrender to what is without letting the mind interpret everything as good or bad. It just is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The idea of surrendering appeals to me. I imagine holding out my wrists for the cuffs and then I become someone else's problem instead of my own. Someone else has to make decisions and also feed and clothe me. I like that for a change.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>Don't look for happiness in some future event</b>. As a writer, it's easy to imagine happiness waiting for you when you type "the end" but I know that never happens. I imagine happiness will be waiting when I get rid of everything I own and move to a pristine space without any of the clutter and repair problems that currently exist. That won't happen either. So Eckhart has a point.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>It's not my intent here to go through or judge Eckhart's entire teachings. I have a feeling this understanding has to be an "Aha!" moment that arrives without strain. Right now I don't get it all but I'm better off doing as much as I can.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
*How did we do anything before You-Tube?</div>
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<sup><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></sup>
<sup><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">** </span></sup><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The
importance of the park bench as an iconic place to sit and mull life over has been
overlooked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The park bench is the place
to recover from ignorance, depression, guilt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whenever I sit on a park bench, I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(along with Forrest Gump) take a deep breath and think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The park bench deserves a post.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">*** I like Oprah
but she often co-opts complicated ideas and turns them into overpronounced
sound bites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oprah says Eckhart changed
her life. I believe her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-41099257570733902322017-10-31T05:48:00.000-07:002017-10-31T05:48:56.605-07:00The darn tables have turned.<div class="MsoNormal">
As often happens in life, there are reversals of
circumstances that are novelistic and almost unbelievable. Just such a reversal of roles has happened to
Gayle and her best friend Oprah. When
Oprah’s talk show was on the air, the relationship between the women had a
relaxed bond yet one thing was clear:
Oprah was the wellspring from which Gayle’s celebrity and relevance
flowed. Oprah had created the platform
and the celebrity and the power. About five years ago, Gayle King, a woman we only knew as a
confident, sometimes annoying sidekick to Oprah, the queen of all media,
suddenly showed up on Channel 2, CBS, the Tiffany network once run by William
Paley, the man who gave us Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather and
Sixty Minutes.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yes. Gayle, the spunky Oprah tag along, is now a newscaster
and not only a newscaster but a credible colleague of Charlie Rose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the no nonsense PBS Charlie Rose, a
man who became iconic when PBS was still the holy network and not flooded with
self-help marathons. Charlie interviews diplomats and world leaders and Nobel
prize winners and tech titans and even hip hop moguls in a quiet intimate
setting without commercial interruptions. </div>
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<br /></div>
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When I first reviewed the Charlie and Gayle morning show a
few years ago, they appeared to me as The Professor and The Most Improved
Student but now – five years in- Gayle has earned her position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whenever Oprah is a guest on the show, it is
apparent that their old dynamic has changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gayle has her good serious show and Oprah is just a guest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The darned tables are turned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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There is no documentation but I’m sure there was a
conversation in the big master bedroom in Oprah’s estate in Montecito that went
like this.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oprah:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was on CBS
this morning. I couldn’t help but feel that something had shifted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m now the sidekick and Gayle is the one who
stays on the show after my segment is over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It felt weird.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stedman: Were you jealous?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oprah:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
jealous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all I have a whole
network even though no one can find it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have my own network and all the money.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stedman: But what felt weird?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oprah: Gayle has something more interesting and more
immediately exciting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has
credibility on a respected network news show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gayle has Charlie Rose and I only have Weight Watchers and The Girls
Academy and my soul podcasts and a lot of money.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stedman: Do you wish you had a news show?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oprah: I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe. It just felt weird.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can imagine my surprise a few Sundays back when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sixty Minutes</i> announced a new special
correspondent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was Oprah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was a special correspondent on Gayle’s own network. On the
sacrosanct <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sixty Minutes</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don Hewitt must have at least shifted in his
grave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God knows what Mike Wallace is
saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Andy Rooney would like it.
Oprah’s segment was about America’s political divide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life is reliably weird.</div>
Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3262667444203368600.post-84782197754322776592017-10-04T12:24:00.000-07:002017-10-04T12:32:56.917-07:00(Be true) "to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge."***<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">If I ever appear
smart it is because I allow Maria Popova, brilliant editor of the newsletter
<b>Brain Pickings</b>,* to do the heavy lifting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maria reminds me that it can be satisfying to think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’ll quote a phrase “ fighting the
cowardice of cynicism” ** and my mind takes a gleeful u-turn from my diet of
vapid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cynicism is a cowardly and lazy exit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I love it so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I'm cynical about everything: marriage, parental love, the flu vaccine. etc. </span>I wish there was a cooking show that served
up irony and cynicism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chicken pot
irony.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cynicism alfredo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">This week, <b>Brain Pickings</b> reintroduced me to e.e. cummings, the poet most remembered for using quirky
punctuation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was much more. Cummings
was a slayer of cultural repression, a rebellious son of puritanism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is how he mocked Harvard and Cambridge
as the epitome of stifling respectability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">the Cambridge ladies who live in
furnished souls<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">are unbeautiful and have comfortable
minds<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">(also, with the church's protestant
blessings<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">daughters,unscented shapeless spirited)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">they believe in Christ and
Longfellow,both dead,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">are invariably interested in so many
things --<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">at the present writing one still finds<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">delighted fingers knitting for the is it
Poles?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">perhaps. While permanent faces coyly
bandy<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">scandal of Mrs. N and Professor D<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">....the Cambridge ladies do not
care,above<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Cambridge if sometimes in its box of<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">sky lavender and cornerless,the<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">moon rattles like a fragment of angry
candy<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: times new roman;">This is almost exactly how Tom Wolfe mocked the New York establishment decades later in <b>Radical Chic</b>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Cummings became
a member of the Lost Generation, following Hemingway and Fitzgerald to Paris
and eventually settling in Greenwich Village to capture the Bohemian mystique
of literary and sexual experimentation. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> He made the establishment angry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">In the 1940’s
and 1950’s, not many poets were offering lines like this:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">i like my body when it is with your<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">body. It is so quite new a thing.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Muscles better and nerves more.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">i like your body. i like what it does,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">i like its hows....</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Here is one of
cummings’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>more annoying poems:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">one<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">t <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">hi<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">s<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">snowflake<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">(a<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>li<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>ght<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">in<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">g)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">is upon a gra<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">v<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">es<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">t<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">one<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Someone
described this poem as letters falling from a cliff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Cummings was
showcased in <b>Brain Pickings</b> this week along with quotes from Seamus Heaney <i><span style="color: #1d1d1d;">“involves being true … to your own solitude, true to your
own secret knowledge.”</span></i>and even Nietzsche, <i><span style="color: #1d1d1d;">“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must
cross the river of life,”</span></i><span style="color: #1d1d1d;"> </span>because
of his enduring message to be yourself and defy any culture that rules through
fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">This direct
quote from this week's newsletter is my contribution to the citizens on </span><b style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">both sides</b><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> of
the current political battle that are cowered by fear of reprisal or physical
harm from expressing their true selves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #1d1d1d; font-family: "times new roman";">Every generation believes
that it must battle unprecedented pressures of conformity; that it must fight
harder than any previous generation to protect that secret knowledge from which
our integrity of selfhood springs. But much of it in the century and a half since Nietzsche,
and especially in the years since Heaney, is an accurate reflection of the
conditions we have created and continually reinforce in our present
informational ecosystem — a Pavlovian system of constant feedback, in which the
easiest and commonest opinions are most readily rewarded, and dissenting voices
are most readily punished by the unthinking mob.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">*
https://www.brainpickings.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">**
Caitlin Moran</span><span style="color: #281b21; font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">*** Seamus Heaney</span></div>
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Consuelo Saah Baehrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106845289763202756noreply@blogger.com0